Monday, April 20, 2015

How do you react when you see your ex with someone else?( past experience- story of jealousy.)


You know breakup takes time to recover. It could be sometimes months, sometimes years and sometimes your whole life time. At these times you are a walking zombie. Your brain doesn’t function well. Every time some sad songs run in background of your emotions.
You remember every moment you spend with him/her, but suddenly your world turn upside down when you get to know that he/she have moved on. And he/she refer you as ex----which means expired.

Being zombie in break up.

But what really you feel when you find him/her with someone else…
Do you feel like saying … “kamine mai tera khoon pee jawogi!”

It  all happen like this...

One day after a huge fight and arguments. He broke up with me, I cried, I begged for my love but he didn’t listen. My heart sunk in deep sea of sorrows …. I was depressed.
My best friends knows that I recently had breakup so they cheered me up by saying “he was not good for you. You will get far much better person than him…just wait and watch.”

I know, I can’t hide myself in room for lifetime so I have to go out to face him. I can’t avoid him for many days. There were chances of our being face to face, because we had mutual friends.  He is popular and being popular means having more pros in group. Your friends would neglect you if you behave weird in front of them. So I  have to look normal as if  I have no problem ever...
Even when my  heart is in fumes of fire, and at any moment I  can throw up my  anger, I  have to control. 
His words were some kind of acerbic attack on me.  His tricky smile which was earlier most flirty ones could rip me up. 
We both were trying to ignore those hard feelings  that could destroy peaceful  atmosphere.

Girls who once were jealous of me because he was with me ,now trying  to show off.. They were openly flirting with him. He was too enjoying  every second to make me feel like dumb ass.
I could do same by flirting with other boys in my group…but I can’t hide my  awkwardness’. I wanted  take last chance to convince him, to make patch up. But he  ignored me as if  I am transparent and he can’t see me.

Next time when I saw him, he was not alone. But with someone, who is just like my  representation but only difference was  that she has different face and has that happiness which I have lost. 
I follow them with my eyes, where ever they go. I was every second questioning what she had that made him fall for her.
 This feeling of  jealousy has turned  me into some other species like I was  some kind of blood sucking beast having thirst of their blood... And I wanted to  suck his brain and her blood.  I wanted  to kill them both and burn them into ashes…

being alone.

But in the end I  know he can’t be mine and he doesn’t love me  anymore...

So girls please move on..   

 PS:- taken from my old diary ,which I have kept hidden inside my cupboard.

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